I like quiet spaces. I’m sitting in one early this morning. They give my mind property to roam. It is here that I like to occasionally linger and visit my thoughts. They don’t often speak very loudly, so in order to hear their conversation, I need to get into position where the volume of the outer world is low so I can listen to what they have to say.
One thing in particular I ponder over and over is the outpouring of generosity Karen and I have received this month. I still stand in amazement that so many of you reached out to us and helped solve a personal need. It’s a feeling I don’t want to lose. But it’s also one about which I don’t know how to adequately express thanks. The point I am trying to make is that your gift mattered. It made a difference.
My friend Reggie came into the restaurant for dinner last week, and after a bit of conversation, in his gregarious way, said, “Man you look different. Lighter. Relaxed.”
I didn’t realize it was it that obvious.
What Reggie saw in me was the relief that our entire medical debt had just been retired that day. I sat down at the computer with the stack of bills and statements, and one by one, clicked and sent payment in full. Once that was complete, I ran that stack through the shredder and ceremonially waved goodbye. A weight was lifted, almost as if it was physical. I didn’t know how much it weighed until I no longer had to bear it.
I hesitated to share this, especially in light of the Connecticut tragedy, where so many families have had a completely opposite experienced forced on them without permission. Who am I to celebrate when others are bearing such grief?
But then I am reminded that this is precisely the role of Darkness, to silence and to shame. It seeks to extinguish and diminish. I need to always be reminded that however strong it may seem, Darkness can always be threatened by one small point of illumination.
Karen’s radiologist told us that the most simplest explanation of her radiation treatment is that it is the introduction of light into her body. The high intensity light rays seek to threaten the dark cells of cancer and eradicate its destruction. A metaphor to repeat to me that Good and Evil are in constant opposition, but the latter will never ultimately master the former.