Writing is a late-in-life discovery for me. I’m sure Mrs. Warwick probably thought I would be the last student in her high school English class to find his voice in writing. I was too busy thinking about anything other than writing. It proves you are never too old to discover something new.
Why did it take so long to begin expressing my thoughts in writing? I’m not really sure. Maybe it was lack of opportunity or that I never felt the need as strongly as I do today. Maybe it was because I didn’t think I had anything to say that was worth reading. I assume all the tools and abilities were there all along. So what changed? What got me started writing?
It all began when I stopped worrying about who my would read my work and started focusing on actually saying something.
So I started writing to myself, for myself. I began by chronicling our journey of creating the restaurant. I wanted something I could look back upon and in case I failed, I would have documented the reasons for taking such a huge risk. I wanted to look back, not have regrets and be able to say yes I would have done it all over again. I needed to know my own story.
The same is true as I tell the story of Karen’s battle with cancer. I am telling myself the story first. I can’t change the story. I can’t manipulate the outcome. I can’t control what is going to happen to her, but I can control how the story is told.
Crisis can inflame emotion, which in turn can cloud judgment and create a false narrative. It can create a feeling of pending doom and distract you from the beauty of the immediate moment right in front of you. I write the story to bring me back to the present and not left with the hypothetical.
There is so much good to hold onto right now, so much for which to be thankful. The treatment Karen just completed had its intended effect; shrinking mass, cancer marker at normal levels, did not lose her hair and enjoyed a normal quality of life through the duration. If you’ve seen her lately, you would have no idea she’s dealing with ovarian cancer.
But the pinnacle of beauty in this moment is the upcoming benefit for Karen this Sunday, hosted by our dear friends Dan and Sunny Parsons. Daily we receive notice of people who are attending, giving and providing time and talent to the event. It brings new meaning to the phrase my cup runneth over. At times there is no other response than to break down and shed a tear. Your kindness cannot be contained and neither can our gratitude. It reflexively flows over in abundance.
Next Monday Karen will undergo major surgery to remove the remaining cancer cells. She will be at Methodist Hospital in Omaha for a few days before returning home to Lincoln. I will post information here on my blog and our FB page to keep everyone up to date on her condition.
These words feel so inadequate, but, thank you all for your love and support.